So I didn't make it into any colleges I applied to but two, and those were the "backup schools".

First off I have to say I am a bit frustrated. I work my ass off for four years doing the hardest classes my school has to offer (tons of AP classes), being active in sports and an extremely intense choir program and tons of clubs, gone to over-the-summer workshop type things (not taking classes at a community college type stuff), pull off really good grades (As with the occasional B) and get a VERY respectable SAT score (2000+), yet I don't even get into UCLA (I mention this one because the other schools I applied to are extremely hard to get into and I can more readily accept my rejection, although I am still disappointed and frustrated). And while my "backup schools" are not bad schools, they certainly not my top choices. I guess this is why I applied to backup schools in the first place? Still, its kind of ridiculous.

The thing is, I'm looking into both of them and I'm not really sure if I want to go to either of them. Maybe I'm just super bummed after the massive week of rejections it has been? I dunno, I'm just looking at next year and...

College has been something I've been looking forward to my whole life, and all of a sudden I'm not jumping for joy. It just...sucks. I'm not sure where I want to go or why I want to go there and I want to know why I got rejected and what I could have done differently.

I admit that I could have applied myself more to school and slacked off less (made those Bs into As, gotten higher SAT scores), but really I feel that what I did was quite a lot, and about as much as you can reasonably expect out of a kid. Maybe I don't understand just how big and competitive the world is, but...I've met some people going to UCLA that are definitely less qualified to go there than I am, and I doubt that has changed with this year's incoming class.

So, basically, RANT RANT RANT WHINE BAWWWWWWWWW. But seriously wtf.

I spent Valentines Day playing Settlers of Catan and eating pizza with friends, followed by watching Season 3 of The Office!

Valentines Day, Rock Rock On!

I haven't updated since Thanksgiving, so I need to recap events, and quicklike!

Madrigal Dinner came and went very successfully, as did Christmas. Over the break I saw a lot of older Madrigals and we had a big Madrigal party. Applying to colleges was hell but at least it is (mostly) a thing of the past.

Now, for the future! I'm trying to get into better shape. I know its like the most common New Years Resolution ever and everything, but...its a good one! Its an exercise in self control and builds self esteem and develops healthy habits! As well, if school keeps a pretty mellow pace this semester, I might actually work on art stuff. Who knows~. Also, I think I'm gonna revamp this journal soon. Redirect the efforts, get some icons that actually look like me, the whole shebang. Thinking of moving the more life-oriented journal stuff into an actual physical journal, I just don't know what I'd do with this!

smell like Thanksgiving dinner. I was given dishes duty, even though both my sister and father had volunteered. So much for that.

I don't really like Thanksgiving. I'd rather eat a nice bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats. I'm all for the spirit of the holiday and I get that my parents love trying new recipes but I just don't really like pureed carrots in chicken broth and brussel sprouts and all sorts of weird things, so I traditionally just eat Turkey and Mashed Potatoes, which makes for a rather bland dinner.

Also, school starts on Monday and fuck school.

So today I figured out that many of my friends would rather go see Twilight than Bolt. Even the guys. Even the people who are generally very critical of films. While I suppose this should be expected from the teenage crowd...blealekrhagh.

I am of the opinion that Twilight sucks hard (I have read the book) and I'm really excited for Bolt so its hard to understand the reverse perspective, is all.

On a side note, Bolt also makes me terrified about the future of Disney and Pixar, but thats another story altogether.

Disregard the last journal as it turns out it was a baby, and she already had a second. I'm guessing thats all theres going to be, since she never was really fat.

Honestly, she looked like a normal, healthy cat (instead of her normal scrawny self), so I'm really shocked.

Edit: She had a third.

Outside my door I heard some strange mewing sounds, and thinking it was one of my cats in pain I opened the door, only to see Momma Cat walk in with some strange, small mammal of questionable origin clasped in her mouth, clearly still alive, and she drags it into my brothers room (which is currently a labyrinth of junk). It was about the side of a newly born kitten but I am quite sure that Momma Cat was not pregnant as she has not been fat since before her last litter of kittens...so what the fuck is going on?

My mom came down because she wants to be involved in helping me with college applications and she had to tell me to calm down like a bajillion times because apparently I am freaking out. I recognize that i am indeed freaking out but its not very nice when she says it like that.

THE NEXT THREE MONTHS ARE GOING TO BE HELL! :D

So tonight was the first night where I really felt like the King of the Madrigal Dinner. Yes, tonight was the first practice. And Erika and I were in charge. The whole time. Terrifying. More for her than for me, since traditionally the Queen has more power than the King, but still, the majority of our decisions are the result of talking to each other and its definitely a group effort.

I think the strangest part is that it is a literal reversal of what I am used to. Of my two previous years in the dinner, neither had me in a position of power. My first year I was bottom rung, and my second year I was purely a singer. But this year I am instructing and leading, and its weird. So weird. Like really, truly weird.

This is going to be the kind of experience that I really wish I could put on College Applications. Oh wait, I can!

The moment when you look on that cast list and realize that, after working hard since Sophomore year, you've gotten the part that you wanted, its kind of strange. You are giddy, but its hard to believe. Could it possibly be true that YOU are in that strange, fabled position that only one person a year, nay, in your entire grade, can have?

I'm the King in this years production of the Madrigal Dinner, and I couldn't be more excited.